Relationships become difficult when we want something from someone else or when we expect something from another person. Notice how at ease you are in the presence of others when you don’t want anything from them; the relationship is absent of any tension. When NOTHING is expected, everyone is at ease. When we don’t expect affirmation, approval, attention, acceptance, or even agreement, the relationship has a much better chance of getting off the ground.
Whenever we are carefree and at ease in the presence of another person, it naturally puts that person at ease – resulting in a stronger connection. Never seek in another person what only Christ can give you. Another person can’t COMPLETE you. You are already complete in Christ.
“and you are complete in Him…”
To be complete means: having all parts; lacking nothing; whole; entire; full.
That describes who you are in Him. You see, the more self-assured you become in who you are in Christ, the less you will need to seek acceptance or approval from someone else. Hence, you become free to be yourself. This automatically makes you a more interesting and intriguing individual when you are attempting to engage the opposite sex for meaningful conversation and interaction. When you expect nothing from another individual, you put that person at ease. Think of the last time you ordered a Starbucks coffee – there was no awkwardness between you and the barista. You simply made your selection, paid your bill, and went on with your day. But expect affirmation, approval, attention, and acceptance; and the dynamic of the relationship shifts. When we don’t seek the kind of love and attention from others that only God can give, we allow the natural progression of relationships to take place.
What do you think?
Just a thought.
When teachers find themselves in a confrontation with a student concerning an assignment, the reaction can be manifested from frustration. If they call the student a “liar” in front of his or her peers, it can have devastating results. On the contrary, when a teacher tells a student, “I know you are smarter than this. Would you like to change your story?” This approach can also have positive long term affects on the student.
Children derive their judgment of themselves based on how others judge them. When adults call out the best inside of young people, it gives them a fighting chance to live up to those words. A portrait of ourselves is derived from the signals that others send our way about their view of us. This comes from parents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, ministers and critics alike. You could say that a child is like a blank canvas and the words people use to describe them are the strokes that paint the portrait of how they see themselves.
As parents, we need to call out the best in our kids by focusing on the diamond in the rough. Even the Lord “calls those things that be not as though they were” (see Romans 4:17 KJV).
Parents – call forth the good that is inside your kids!
Just a thought
This question cannot be answered without first recognizing a fundamental Biblical principle: If you want something you have to give something. Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38)
If you want love, you must give love. If you want forgiveness, you must give forgiveness. If you want respect, you must give respect. And, if you want your kids to honor you, then you must honor them. To honor someone means you treat him or her fairly and with respect. Doing this acknowledges that person’s value. Kids are small adults who desire to be valued. They have the same needs that we as parents have, and all humans thrive on love and respect.
Somewhere along the way adults adopted a disrespectful attitude toward kids. Have you ever witnessed a parent talking down to their child or a parent embarrassing and belittling them in front of others? This type of behavior has devastating results. When we fail to treat our kids with respect, we are building a wall of separation between our children and ourselves. Each successive put-down is a brick added to the wall until it becomes an insurmountable barricade that keeps us apart.
Showing respect to your children does not give them power over you or undermine your God-given authority. It empowers them to obey God’s command that children should honor their parents. I read a story about a little girl who asked her mom if they could play a game. The mom responded positively by asking her daughter what kind of game she wanted to play. Her daughter said, “I’ll pretend I am your best friend.” The mother asked, “Why do you want to pretend I’m your best friend?” Her daughter replied, “Because you and your best friend laugh together and have fun with each other.”
If you want your kids to honor you, start honoring them as God’s children. Brick by brick, you will see that wall of separation will come down. Instead, you will see a bridge — a relationship built upon honor and respect — take its place. Stay tuned for more parenting tips over the next couple of weeks. Please feel free to leave your comments.
Just a thought
A “Mistaken Certainty” is something one accepts to be true that, in reality, is not true. “Mistaken Certainties” are self-imposed constraints that prevent us from truly living. Like a prison, these false perceptions become the bars that keep us trapped in disbelief. When our minds accept false concepts as truth, we adopt disempowering beliefs — beliefs that influence our actions, even though they lack substance and validity. What inevitably happens is we go through life consciously and subconsciously looking for facts to support our beliefs, regardless of how far from the truth they may be.
But Jesus answered and said to them, “You are mistaken, not understanding the Scriptures, or the power of God.”
Matthew 22:29 (NASB77)
We can all suffer from “Mistaken Certainties.” What Mistaken Certainties might you have in your life? They can originate from beliefs you have about God and yourself that simply are untrue. “I can never change,” “God can’t use me,” “My marriage can’t get better,” “I’m not good enough for someone to love,” and “I’ll never get ahead.” These are just a few “Mistaken Certainties” that people believe.
How do we begin to neutralize these very powerful Mistaken Certainties? The first step out of Mistaken Certainties is to acknowledge your susceptibility to this syndrome that is holding you back from your full potential. You must be willing to face the truth and accept it, no matter how uncomfortable that truth is.
“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
How many people accept as ‘gospel truth’ what a parent, teacher, religious leader or some other authority figure told them without actually measuring it against God’s Word? Don’t accept something to be true until you have tested it by aligning it with the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit.
You are free only to the degree that you have accepted the TRUTH! Your life will improve to the degree that you accept the TRUTH about God and about yourself. To use a construction example, before we could build the new, functional buildings for our Beyond project, we had to tear down and remove the old, nonfunctional buildings that existed. Do you have any nonfunctional edifices established in your life that need to come down before new ones can replace them? Are you living according to Mistaken Certainties or the TRUTH of Jesus Christ and your identity in Him? Begin today to pursue TRUTH as you follow Christ.
Just a thought
The pronoun you appears nearly fifteen thousand times in the Bible, which points to an important principle: if you don’t address your own needs first, you can’t be of any help to others.
It seems selfish on the surface, doesn’t it? Paul the Apostle said, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” In this verse, the “I” that Paul refers to isn’t the “I” that needs food, water, safety, shelter and a godly purpose; it is the carnal self that is dealt a deathblow through salvation. As a result of salvation, there is a new you, “…Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27).
Jesus commanded us to love others as we love ourselves. We can only be of exceptional service to those we love – spouses, children, family, friends, co-workers, church family etc. – if we are taking care of our own needs first.
“To you first, God, having raised up His Servant Jesus, sent Him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from your iniquities.”Acts 3:26 (NKJV)
Could it be that many people serve others as a way of avoiding personal responsibility for improving one’s own life? It might sound something like this, “I am so busy helping others I don’t have time for myself.”
These individuals say that they need to put their spouses, boy/girlfriends, friends, family and careers first. This is a form of self-delusion. When each person takes greater responsibility and care for themselves, the world as a whole can improve. When you are on top of your own game, you will have the physical, emotional and spiritual strength to serve and bless others. Taking care of others begins with taking care of yourself.
Just a thought